Oh man.... I am about the biggest noob at being a dad there is. I actually was set on not having children in this lifetime. Who would have thought? The choice of becoming a father is a very difficult one at the least. In the beginning (segway), I was determined on living a life that was fun, carefree and of course children free. You must understand the single me cringed when a child cried. Cringed would actually be an understatement. So what made me change my mind? This is a question that I have been asked by wives of the husbands that are not ready for children and a question that I still reflect on myself.
Where to begin? At first I thought of it as giving up my life; I complained, I whined, I got over it. Then I remembered an old saying "Try looking at things from a different perspective to gain insight on the truth". So I did. I began to wonder why everyone wanted us to have children. I soon began to see why. I also began to see how selfish I had been in trying to thwart my wife's inquiry into why we were not trying for children.
To have children is a huge choice (if given the choice). It will lead to hardship to the lights you have never seen, temp fate, test the strings that hold your sanity, and ultimately turn a hard ass of a guy into a heap of jello. Yeah i know..... ack!!! This choice will not affect only you, but everyone around you. Everyone in your family will become your greatest ally, even those that you have not had contact with for quite some time. I was that guy who would get annoyed when children were around, now i can't stand being away from our family. Oh!!!! SIDE NOTE: When random people tell you that it is different when the child is yours, do yourself a favor. BELIEVE THEM!!! I hated that saying, I would follow it up with, I hate all kids. As you know things change.
In the end it is 2 choices. There are positives and negatives to every scenario. My advice: weigh them out. (Do not use happiness to counter money, it doesn't work and leads to many a fight. ...... trust me) Listen to the positives and negatives on both sides. You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason; for those who don't know (to listen twice as much as you speak). If you feel as though you are dominating the conversation, you are. Ask the dumb questions? You may get a little humor in and otherwise heated discussion.
Now for me. The reason I became a father was because I didn't believe in being selfish to my own cause. I realized how much happiness I would be suppressing, my wife and our parents for starters. I realized I had more to offer than the single funny guy that I was desperately holding on to. I realized that I have a chance to make a life.
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